


There's Something Less About Him

by ohheichoumyheichou



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blindness, Canon Era, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Levi/Erwin Smith, Injury, M/M, Macro/Micro, Titan Eren Yeager, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 10:53:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1685714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohheichoumyheichou/pseuds/ohheichoumyheichou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi is missing in action outside of the walls during one of the scouting missions. Eren refuses to leave him behind, and goes back to retrieve him, even if it means disobeying Erwin's orders.<br/>Levi is injured, Eren is in titan form... it's a beautifully un-dynamic duo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's Something Less About Him

Night had fallen many hours ago, and Eren tried not to think about how his body was starting to feel sluggish, as if the will to move quickly was no longer enough to do so. He was hellbent on finding Levi, but it was either the long hours of fruitless searching or the fatigue creeping up on him since the sun went down that was starting to make him feel hopeless. Maybe Levi had been killed after all, and not only killed, but gone without a trace-- stewing in some titan's stomach juices.

Eren wondered if he should abandon his titan body and seek shelter in the woods until morning, but he never found it straightforward to transform back, and his current tiredness made it seem an even more impossible task. He began to wonder uneasily if he was going to be alright after so much time in titan form. He never spent more than an hour or two like this... even Hanji hadn't ever pushed him much in that respect in her controlled tests. He was ambling very slowly now, feet dragging, still scanning the ground and trees for any sign of Levi, running on fumes, and feeling unpleasantly machine-like about his task.

He certainly didn't start out that way. Earlier that day, when the scouting legion galloped out of the woods and found Levi missing, Eren's heart thumped with a lot of angry energy. Erwin's face had been unreadable. They could not afford to turn back or wait-- there were many titans in the open fields and they were getting attracted by the group of survivors. Nobody knew what might have happened to Levi. Their entire group had been surprised and scattered by several very fast moving aberrants, and nobody witnessed Levi's fate.

Eren rode up next to Erwin as they hurried on. "Commander, we won't even wait for him?"

"If he's alive and has his horse, he'll catch up," Erwin said, his jaw tense.

"And if he doesn't?" Eren said under his breath. "Doesn't our best soldier deserve a better chance than that?"

"I cannot play favorites," Erwin said. "Levi knows when we do and do not come back for our people. I'm not sending any people back into that forest."

Eren gritted his teeth in exasperation. It was true-- they had left countless others behind in less desperate situations, but Eren couldn't help but feel that Erwin was overcompensating in cold rationality when it came to someone as dear to him as Levi.

"Are you just afraid to find him dead?" Eren asked, the anger in him spiking for some reason.

"I'm afraid of risking the rest of our troops to the titans who are coming up behind us," Erwin answered, unmistakably cross now, though his voice remained steady.

Eren looked back at the titans who were visible on the meadowlands. Seven normal looking ones, at least one aberrant moving strangely.

"Permission to transform and go back for him, sir!" Eren cried out abruptly, loud enough for the other to hear.

"Under no circumstances!" Erwin shouted back, but Eren found it impossible to care or heed the order. Maybe Levi had been the only thing keeping him in check and behaving himself all this time. Maybe it was a strange conviction that to do the reckless thing here was the only right course of action.

Whatever it was, Eren stopped his horse and leaped off, running back towards the forest. He could hear several people call his name in disapproving and worried tones as he ran past them, but the blood thumping in his ears was louder. He never doubted he'd successfully transform, biting his hand and hardly feeling the pain just as he never did when he was singularly angry and fighting for survival. His titan body took only a moment to materialize, releasing an enormous amount of heat. He could hear his name being called again, but the voices were small and distant now, and he knew he had only one objective. He sprinted towards the woods, violently dispatching the titans who got in his way. The aberrant titan headed for him specifically, sensing that Eren was an antagonist, and ate a large chunk of Eren's thigh before having the nape of its neck ripped out.

Eren rested, breathing heavily, waiting for his leg to regenerate. He gasped steam when he espied Levi's horse trotting out of the woods, riderless. Levi hadn't gotten crushed while still on horseback, but he was obviously still in the woods, that much was clear. The scouting legion was already far in the distance and Eren wondered what would happen to him if and when he returned to the city. He had never disobeyed an order so pointedly, and one directly from Commander Smith no less. At least he had taken care of several titans who were in their pursuit? Perhaps it was because he was in titan form, but the problems that would come from his desertion seemed trivial to him. He had to find his captain alive, that much he knew. 

This goal seemed more and more daunting as night fell and he could barely see anything by the little moonlight that was filtering through the trees.

By the time he found Levi, Eren was so tired that he was grasping at the trees for support, and had nearly crushed the person he was searching for under his hand. Levi's body was draped at an awkward angle on a tree branch, and the dark green hood made him hard to see in the darkness. Perhaps that saved him, since the titans seemed to follow their prey visually. Eren was afraid to move Levi, but when he opened the cloak up a bit he was relieved that the captain was still breathing, at least.

He huffed on Levi's face, hoping to rouse him that way. Slowly he collected Levi's limp body into the palm of his hand, knowing full well that if Levi's back was broken moving him was a terrible thing to do, but unable to leave him in that disturbing arrangement of limbs.

Eren sat down, afraid to touch an unconscious person too much, but kept petting Levi's chest with the tip of his finger.

Levi soon made a muffled moan and shifted, finally opening his eyes. Eren watched intently as Levi blinked several times, rubbing his eyes, then slowly brought both hands up to his head, massaging his temples. Something was strange about the man's behavior but Eren couldn't tell what it was, exactly. He wanted to say Levi's name-- say anything, really-- but there was no doing that unless the captain was going to cut him out of his titan body.

Levi was silent for a very long time, still blinking a lot, and Eren began to dread that Levi had injured his head very seriously. He made his best attempt at speech, only a sad growl escaping his teeth instead.

"... Eren, is that you?" Levi finally asked, and Eren didn't know what to make of how unsure he sounded. He had expected Levi to scold him for picking him up, or maybe, less likely, thank him for coming back for him. He was doing neither, staring off with a strange expression on his face. Eren touched his index finger to Levi's cheek and Levi reached for it, holding on to it briefly.

"Eren, I can't see... I can't see a fucking thing," Levi finally said, opening his eyes wider than Eren had ever seen him do. "You understand?"

Eren made a sound that he hoped the captain would take for a yes.

"Is it nighttime?" Levi asked, sitting up with some difficulty, grabbing the back of his head and wincing. Eren nodded, then sighed, frustrated when he remembered Levi couldn't see his gestures.

"I can't see and you can't speak. Great combination," Levi muttered, still rubbing the back of his head. "Touch my right leg for yes and left leg for no or something, goddamit."

Eren huffed and ran his finger along Levi's right leg.

"Good, at least you understand," Levi said, and smiled sadly, running a hand along his eyes. "Is my face injured? Do my eyes look injured?"

Eren touched his left leg.

"Must have hit my head. Bleeding on the brain." Levi sat chewing his lip for a while. "I'm guessing we're alone out here?"

Eren touched his right leg.

"Figures. You come back on your own to find me or something?"

Eren's finger lingered on Levi's right leg until Levi brushed it away.

"And we're sitting here, not going back.... because...?"

Eren grunted in frustration, not knowing how to explain.

"I have half a mind to cut you out of this thing so you can actually answer. But then we'd be a blind guy and a guy without arms and legs, wouldn't we."

Eren huffed, amused for just a moment, but watching Levi shakily try to stand up and fail made him acutely sad. Blindness seemed like a permanent injury. Eren didn't remember ever crying in his titan form before, but he could feel the moisture of one tear run down his face. At least Levi wouldn't see that.

"Yeah, I'm not going to be able to cut you out like this..." Levi said, sitting back down, holding his head between his hands.

Eren started checking Levi's arms and legs, moving them around to figure out if anything else was injured.

"Quit touching me, brat," Levi finally growled, shoving Eren's hand away. "Nothing's broken, I'm just really dizzy and I can't see. Take me home if you want to be helpful."

Eren felt despair at how weak he felt, but he forced himself to get back on his feet by sheer willpower. He thought he was holding Levi securely as he rose, pressing his hand to his chest during the ascent to keep it steady, but apparently the concussion made the captain very sensitive and Eren looked down just in time to see Levi vomit all over himself.

"Fuckkk," he croaked, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. "Never had a concussion before in my life..." he said, almost apologetically.

Levi started fumbling with his cravat and uniform jacket, trying to take them off, shaking, although Eren couldn't tell if it was from pain or disgust. Without much thought, Eren brought his captain up to his face and began lapping up all the objectionable material off of him.

"Are you fucking--" Levi managed before Eren's tongue sprawled him on his back against Eren's palm again.

"Are you crazy?!" Levi sputtered when he finally pushed the warm, wet tongue away. "You're just a big dumb animal... I'm going to throw up again if I even think about what you just did."

Eren wondered if he would have felt differently about doing it with his own body. In titan form, it didn't even register as offensive. He watched Levi scowling, still steaming as Eren's saliva evaporated off of him. "Sick," he muttered again, starting to shake his head but stopping because of the pain. "Why don't you just start walking home, dumbass."

Eren sighed and began to stride forward, wondering if it was safe to walk when he was feeling so underpowered. Would he just run out of energy and topple over at some point? He didn't even want to think about the possibility of meeting a titan that might be active at night and interested in attacking him. When he began seeing a clearing through the trees, he knew he was reaching the edge of the forest, but it was here that he became convinced that he shouldn't go any further. The forest was safer. He pressed his back against one of the trees, and slid down to a sitting position gingerly, keeping his hand as steady as possible.

Levi had been lying in a fetal position in Eren's palm since throwing up, and didn't move even when he demanded to know why they had stopped.

Eren might have shrugged if the captain could see.

"You don't feel as blistering hot as usual," Levi finally said. "Are you slowing down without the sun or something?"

Eren touched Levi's right leg, starting to feel like even listening and responding was taking a lot of energy. The lethargy was beginning to affect his thinking, and that made him nervous. What if energy was required to retain memories, or something equally disturbing? What if he'd become indistinguishable from the mindless titans if he ran himself into the ground like this? _Protect Levi at all costs_ , Eren thought to himself, trying to burn the command into his brain.

They sat together in silence for a while. Eren wasn't exactly falling asleep, but you couldn't call the state he was in fully conscious either. The conscious part of him was watching Levi lying in his hand, still rubbing his eyes and blinking wildly in desperate attempts to restore his vision. Another half of his mind was dreamily drifting through memories of his childhood, and maybe even someone else's. He couldn't place some of the vague images he'd see in dreams. Eren panicked a little when his mind came across a scene of his father treating a Shinganshina man who had fallen and injured his head while fixing a roof. Eren came by to bring his father dinner from home, and stayed a while to watch the work. The man seemed almost fine in the evening but died during the night in his sleep. Another fat tear fell down, missing Levi thankfully. Eren decided not to think about anything far ahead in the future and just make sure he got his captain back into the city safe and sound.

"I would kill for some water... get this vomit taste out..." Levi said wistfully, pulling Eren back into the present. Eren let out a choked groan and put Levi on the back of his own neck, waiting for him to grab on to his hair before getting on all fours and starting a slow crawl through the woods in search of water. That was all he could manage at this point.

"You're really exhausted, huh," Levi said, and the note of astonishment in his voice made Eren feel like he could dig up just a little more energy in himself. Eren finally found a tiny brook and slumped down on his stomach next to it, having a nagging feeling that he wouldn't be able to move from that spot until the sun recharged him. He could feel Levi get down on the ground carefully... so ridiculously carefully for someone who used to zip through the air at breakneck speeds. Levi never left Eren's side, running one hand along Eren's face, steadying himself as he walked, or maybe wary of walking off without being able to see. Eren watched Levi separate from him and step forward cautiously, searching for the water's edge with his boot. Eren wished he could have given him water out of his own hand instead of making Levi crouch there, probably jostling and hurting his head, but there was no helping it. He could not budge any part of his body anymore. 

Levi progressed from drinking out of his cupped hands to washing his face. Eren watched in disbelief as Levi began to take off his boots, and then articles of his uniform one by one, rinsing them in the water.

"I think I pissed myself when I got slammed against that tree. Not that you'd notice," Levi said, answering a silent question as he wrung out his shirt. "I figure they'll be mostly dry by sunrise. Didn't feel like walking around in your spit either."

Eren's eyes widened as he watched Levi lay out his clothing along his titan arm, dressed only in his green hood now, not really decently covered. He was moving slowly and unsurely, and Eren found it astonishing that washing his uniform was Levi's priority tonight. He couldn't be on the brink of death if he still cared about his uniform's condition, could he?

"I just don't like to fall asleep in dirty clothes," Levi said, slightly defensive, as if able to read Eren's bewilderment. "You'll keep me warm enough, hopefully," he added. Eren watched as he walked himself along the length of Eren's arm, then struck out on his own.

Eren couldn't help but rumble plaintively, worried about where Levi was going by himself, with nothing on but the green cloak.

"Shut up-- you want to attract company?" Levi hissed.

He hadn't gone far before stopping and Eren felt a bit sheepish when he saw Levi was just taking a leak. It was strange and heartbreaking to watch Levi walk back though, hands extended, fumbling for Eren's body. He settled down in the crook of Eren's elbow, curling his legs right into his torso, and using his Survey Corps cloak as a small blanket.

"I probably shouldn't fall asleep," Levi said. His lips pressed together into something that almost counted as a smile. "In case I never wake up again." 

Eren shivered. 

"You still awake, Jaeger?"

Eren emitted some sort of suitably quiet noise, still watching his captain, feeling wary over how vulnerable they were, near the edge of the woods in a state like this. Levi looked so unbearably small and delicate, especially stripped of all his gear and his hair disheveled. If there were nocturnal titans, Eren hoped they wouldn't notice one small human-- hoped they'd be too busy feasting on him. Eren wondered if he could break out of the titan then, maybe grab Levi and somehow climb up a tree together. Eren didn't even have his maneuver gear with him, of course. Even contemplating this plan made Eren feel tired, but he was happy that he found Levi alive, that was really all that mattered.

"You know, I barely remember what happened to me," Levi said, fighting a yawn. "I rode off down a different alley of trees away from all of you, I guess... and there was a titan following... nothing special that I recall. I think I moved upward... trying to get behind and above the stupid thing's head... I was watching for its hands, but it did something weird... slammed the back of its head against me, I think, instead of what I expected. My mistake, but honestly I've never seen them do it."

Levi wrapped the cloak tighter around himself and buried himself further into the flesh of Eren's forearm and bicep, and Eren wished he could maintain his high temperature better for the captain's sake.

"That's why fighting talent is never going to keep you safe. The better you fight, the more risks you take, and it only takes one moment of not paying attention, and you're as good as any inexperienced dead idiot out there. Keep that in mind, Eren. If you're even awake."

Eren made a muffled noise just to indicate that he was, but honestly Levi's delirious ramblings were starting to be hard to follow.

"Thanks for coming back for me," Levi said after a long silence. "I bet Erwin didn't send you, did he? You came alone. Which was stupid, but then you're still a kid. You don't know how stupid it was of you to do this."

Eren thought about a wordless protest, but he really had nothing to say for himself. He just knew he didn't regret his decision.

"But if I woke up and couldn't see... I don't know how long it would have taken for me to get anywhere. I would have tried. We all want to live so badly, it's kind of amazing. If we make it back and I don't get my eyesight back, I might get depressed and say you shouldn't have saved me, but you should know you did me a favor, no matter what I say later."

Eren blinked.

"You're a good person, Eren. You don't always do the right thing, but you're a good, honest person. I feel like humanity's worth saving because of people like you. Not everyone feels worth saving. I guess I was, to you. I'm glad I met you..."

Eren felt frantic when he saw Levi's head succumb to fatigue and lean back, his sightless eyes rolling back just before closing. His words seemed final, hardly characteristic of his usual mood. It was hard not to think of it as a goodbye. Eren moaned plaintively, hoping to see the captain wake up again, but the only sign that he was alive was very faint breathing and the tightness of his brows that wouldn't relax even after he was no longer awake.

Eren never went to sleep, patiently watching the sky turn grey, praying he would soon be able to get up and walk. He didn't want to move his arm before Levi woke up. What if he wouldn't? What if he was comatose? Eren wished he had learned more about medicine from his father before he had disappeared. Much to his relief, Levi stirred awake on his own. Eren could see the exact moment when Levi remembered the predicament he managed to forget in his sleep-- when he opened his eyes and his face went from peaceful to a fierce frown, an angry sigh and yawn mixing together as he rubbed his eyes again.

"The sun's out, huh," Levi said, rubbing the back of his head. Eren touched his right leg.

"I think I can see light, actually..." Levi said, staring in the right direction, but opening his eyes so wide that he looked deranged. "At least I think I do. I was seeing all kinds of shapes and colors last night, it's kind of annoying."

Eren wanted to turn away and not stare at his superior officer without his clothes on, now much more visible in daylight, but there he was, standing right in front of Eren's face, small and ghostly pale in all the places usually covered up by clothes. There was a large ripe purple bruise on Levi's back that Eren hadn't noticed before, probably from the same impact that blinded him, and Eren was sorely tempted to lick the spot in hopes of making it feel better. Levi was feeling his way up and down Eren's arm, finding and donning each article of clothing deliberately, expertly buttoning and tying everything up. This was probably the first and last time in Eren's life that he would see Levi's morning routine.

"Do I look alright?" Levi asked, brushing down the leather sash around his hips, after he put on everything except his maneuver gear, and Eren wondered if he knew he had been watched the entire time. He didn't wait for an answer that could not be given, and went to the brook to wash his face and brush his hair as best as he could with his fingers. He was getting around better than the night before, Eren noted with a measure of happiness. He watched Levi start strapping on all his gear and huffed incredulously.

"Don't laugh, Jaeger. It's your job to make sure I don't have to use this, but I'm not about to depend on you to wipe my ass for me," Levi said, testing out his swords. Whatever the brain injury that made Levi say nice, sentimental things before he went to sleep, it seemed to be on the mend.

Eren took Levi out to the clearing, but there was still very little sunlight at this time of day, and Eren didn't feel fully recovered yet. He lay down again to enjoy a little more sunlight before resuming their journey, hoping to sunbathe his back. Levi sat in the grass in front of Eren's face resting on his folded arms, facing out to the horizon where the sun was rising.

"Are you still tired?" Levi asked without turning around. Eren only huffed, blowing Levi's hair out of place.

"I guess we have to wait for more sun. You really are a lizard," Levi said, laughing to himself as he hugged his own legs and put his chin down on his knees. Eren could almost forget that anything bad had happened to Levi when they were sitting like this, in the stillness of early morning.

"You know, if it wasn't so dangerous out here... I'd prefer it a hundred times to the city," Levi said. "That place stinks of something... I don't know what. Maybe just people, all living so close together. It's so damn peaceful and fresh out here when it's empty."

He leaned back against Eren. "Let's just stay out here. You fight off titans and I'll do laundry."

Eren could feel his heart rate speed up. It was a joke, but something about the way Levi said it made Eren feel like this was a very intimate desire being shared. He felt warmed up enough and picked Levi up in his hand.

"Put me on your shoulder or something. I'm gonna get sick jostled in your hand."

Eren deposited him on his shoulder, waiting for him to grab hair, but instead he felt an unfamiliar sting. Levi had anchored himself into Eren's body with the maneuver gear, feet planted firmly on a stabilizing diagonal. Eren couldn't believe the gall, but he was happy his captain was feeling that much better after sleeping it off.

"Hurts?" Levi asked nonchalantly, obviously not very interested in the answer.

Eren shrugged, amused when he felt Levi's footing falter just a little bit.

"Shitty brat," Levi said quietly, punching Eren's ear before reanchoring himself.

It felt phenomenal to have energy coursing through him again, and Eren walked with a brisk pace, refraining from jogging only because of his passenger.

Eren and Levi made it back to Wall Rose by the afternoon with only a couple of titan encounters along the way. Eren stomped the smaller ones to a pulp with no problem, but a fifteen meter class could have been troublesome for Eren, and he put Levi down into the grass before the skirmish. Levi looked none too happy about being so vulnerable when Eren picked him up again, and complained about the smell of blood from Eren's mouth. Both of them seemed to get more depressed as they neared the city. Levi's disability seemed to become that much more real with the wall in sight, and Eren wondered how someone with Levi's spirit would cope with an injury of this sort. People were starting to gather and stare down at Eren's approach and he heard the gate creak as they prepared to raise it briefly. He pet the top of Levi's head one last time with his finger, the man letting him do it for a few seconds before shoving the fingertip away.

"He brought Captain Levi back to us!" Eren could hear someone shout. He espied Mikasa and Armin amongst the people on the wall. Eren knelt on the ground before the gate. He was not about to enter the city in his current state. Mikasa rappelled down the wall and ran towards him.

"Eren!" she said, and Eren could see the tears in her eyes despite her smile. He tapped the nape of his own neck and she understood what he meant, though she stared suspiciously at Levi, whom Eren had let down on the ground in front of him.

Eren gasped in pain, the titan's flesh and his refusing to separate as he emerged. "Just cut me out," he said, muffled by the flesh still attached to his face. Parts of his legs and arms remained inside the steaming and rapidly decaying shell of a titan Mikasa had separated him from. She took Eren into her arms and started walking back inside.

"You spent too long in there..." she said, upset at having had to hurt Eren, but the pain seemed bearable to him, agonizing but not frightening when he knew he would regenerate.

"Captain..." Eren said weakly, and it was such sweet relief to finally be able to say it. Levi turned toward the voice, his face visibly unsure and distraught. "Wait, Mikasa," Eren whispered to her.

Everyone was watching and Eren hadn't even considered how to break the news of a debilitating injury to the hero whose return they were celebrating. Perhaps that bit of information could be kept under wraps for now. "Mikasa, walk slowly and let Levi hold on to me," he said under breath.

"What?" she asked tersely, but did as he asked.

"Captain..." Eren repeated, so glad to speak again, as if he'd never get enough of saying the name now. "Captain Levi, we'll get a coach and go to the capital together."

"Fine with me," Levi said.

"What's wrong with you?" Mikasa snapped, unable to mask the annoyance in her tone. Eren didn't even want to think about how worried she had been over his absence, and how much she probably blamed Levi for the risk he took.

"I can't see for shit, Ackerman," Levi said coldly. "Sorry for the trouble."

"He hit his head," Eren added. "Walk slowly."

"Weird to hear your voice again, Jaeger. I got kind of used to your grunts and groans."

Eren could see Mikasa's face twist angrily, but she kept the pace slow, and none of the spectators seemed to suspect the nature or extent of Levi's injury.

Armin ordered the coach and climbed in with the others. "Are you alright, sir? Is it just your eyesight?"

"I'm starving too, if you really care to know," Levi said.

Mikasa was wrapping Eren's bloody stumps in some kind of cloth she had. They had already stopped dripping blood and Eren could feel the familiar itch of flesh knitting itself back together.

"Is Commander really angry with me?" he asked as Mikasa proceeded to wipe away the bloody tissue that was still attached around his eyes.

"I'm pretty certain he'll forgive you," Armin said, eying Levi up and down.

Levi was silent, chin resting in his hand, unseeing eyes pointed to stare out the window.

"The people in the streets are cheering for you..." Eren offered.

"I haven't lost my hearing, Jaeger," Levi cut him off.

~~~

Once they were back at headquarters, Levi got whisked away into what passed for their best infirmary. Erwin didn't even have a discussion with Eren about the matter, smiling at him briefly before taking Levi into his arms and carrying him off. Eren always felt a faint twinge of jealousy when he saw the two of them together, and now was no different. Levi's head leaned down so easily, so naturally against Erwin's shoulder, and he didn't seem nearly so prickly and sarcastic as when Eren would offer similar support. Eren felt relief too, though. The previous night's search had taken a big toll on him, and he only noticed his fatigue after Levi was taken away. He stayed in bed most of the evening, everything already regenerated, but still weak, and Mikasa served him supper there.

A few days went by, and the scouting legion was in disarray. Hanji dropped most of her experiments and spent a lot of time visiting Levi, purportedly working on cures. Most of Levi's squad loitered around, obviously worried. Erwin was the real reason their division had gone dormant however. He was serving vigil by Levi's side, working only a few hours a day to do the absolutely essential bureaucratic tasks and no more than that. Eren wanted to see the captain for himself, but he knew that even the more senior people on Levi's squad were not being invited to visit him. He hoped to ask Hanji for details, but he barely saw her, all her research on hold. He finally caught her passing in the hallway of headquarters and asked what was wrong.

"It's cortical blindness," she said. "His eyes are structurally fine."

"... Is that good or bad?" Eren asked cautiously, feeling relieved when Hanji said there was hope.

Eren found himself trying to fill his time with chores he generally hadn't cared for, depressed by the thought that Levi might never be able to really appreciate the result of his work.

He was cleaning the horse stable when Erwin came by to talk to him. Eren hurriedly saluted, cursing himself when the stable rake he propped up against the wall dropped down with a clang.

"He wants to see you," Erwin said, completely ignoring the sound.

"How is he?"

Erwin smiled sadly. "Could be better, could be worse. They just released him, so he's up in our office."

Eren desperately wanted to ask what the hell that was supposed to mean, but decided it wouldn't be useful when he was being given permission to go see for himself.

Eren knocked on the door shyly, picking off a piece of straw that got stuck to him. Maybe he should have cleaned himself up instead of running to this room as fast he could. Sometimes it was much easier to live as a titan, Eren thought. There was only room for one feeling at a time in that state. In this human form, Levi intimidated him and also made him feel strange, like he was his dead mother, his absent father, and ... something else all rolled into one. Eren didn't want to be honest with himself about that particular strange feeling, but it was hard to forget it when he opened the door and saw Levi sitting at the table in nothing but a bathrobe, drinking tea.

"Is that you, Eren?" he asked, his tone flat, much more confident than the way he'd asked the same question in the woods.

"Yes sir," Eren said. "They said you wanted to see me."

"That's right, Eren."

Eren didn't know if he was supposed to sit down, but Levi made it clearer when he kicked one of the chairs slightly away from the table.

Eren sat down, folding his hands on his lap, even though Levi wouldn't be able to appreciate his good manners. "How's your vision?"

"Shitty," Levi said, taking another sip. "I'll have to learn to identify people by smell, like Mike, if it doesn't get better."

Eren laughed quietly. "Glad to see you haven't changed, Captain."

Levi's eyes shifted, so that it almost seemed that he was staring at Eren, but their glassiness made it unnerving. "What if I'm not going to be your captain anymore? I'm not going to be in the military if I can't see."

Eren almost wished he was in titan form and couldn't be expected to answer questions like these.

"... And this is my life, you know, Eren? What do people do when they retire from the military. Start a family? Work in the government?"

Eren squirmed uncomfortably. "I don't know, Captain."

"What would you do in my place?" Levi said, hooking his arm around the back of his chair.

"Me? I'd still try to help kill titans and protect my friends," Eren said, hoping it wasn't rude. "Lots of people go into the military and they're never half as good as others, but everyone should do what they can. If you don't try, what's the use of your life?"

Levi smiled. "I love you teenagers. What can I do to help if I can't fight? I can't even help poor Erwin with the paperpushing anymore."

Eren chewed his lip, wondering if he should say everything he was thinking. "Captain, I don't care what you say, you're always someone I look up to. And I know you won't just give up."

"Are you disappointed? Didn't you go and save me because you hoped I'd be useful after this?" Levi asked.

"No," Eren said firmly, but his voice began to waver as he continued. _I wanted you back in any shape or form_ , he thought, his mouth going dry. "I saved you because human life has value. And yours is very valuable to me."

Levi smiled. "Please. Just tell me you're not crying right now."

"I'm not," Eren said. "But that doesn't mean I didn't cry over you in the woods."

"I'll tell you something ridiculous too, then," Levi said, his smile looking almost mischievous. "One of the few things that made me really sad in the woods was that I might not ever see your face again."

Eren could feel blood rush to his head. To his dismay Levi was still staring at him, rather pointedly, and it was hard to remember that he couldn't see. 

"... What?" he finally asked when Levi wouldn't stop staring with unseeing eyes.

"Nothing," Levi replied, suddenly reaching over and touching Eren's face, only slightly clumsy at aiming for his cheek. "I just wanted you here. You always make me more excited about my life with all your black and white convictions and such."

"Uh..." Eren looked askance as Levi's hand started tracing his features.

"I won't have an excuse to do this if my eyesight gets better..." Levi's hand suddenly stopped. "Are you fucking blushing?"

"Huh?!" Eren exclaimed, as Levi brushed hair out of his eyes.

"I can see your ears turning bright red."

"What.... I thought you can't see?"

"I can see, it's just still double vision all over the place. Not good enough to use the gear yet."

Eren felt a little bit angry. "What was all that talk about giving up the military? You're barely disabled! Why're you even touching my face, if you can see?"

Levi smirked. "It's part of the hand-eye coordination exercises Hanji prescribed me."

Eren relented and smiled. "I'm telling everyone that you'll back with us in a month, I hope you know."

"Hopefully earlier," Levi said. "But I do owe you my life," he added softly. "Just wanted to make sure you know that."

Eren walked out of the room, heart thumping in his ears. Erwin had been standing in the hallway, arms folded, evidently waiting for his turn to go in.

"Good job, Jaeger, by the way. But don't ever do it again," he said, smiling slightly.

"Yes sir," Eren mumbled, hoping his ears weren't still bright red.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the kink meme.  
> The title refers to the song Her Diamonds by Rob Thomas, which vaguely inspired the mood of this fic.


End file.
